The Funhouse has not always seen the success that its owner, Samuel T Klaus, so desperately wants. It has historically struggled to keep itself afloat and has cost Samuel much to do so. And yet, not long before festivities began, the store became the talk of the town’s children. The usually mediocre toys began to enrapture those playing with them, the children ignoring more and more of their surroundings and only looking up to ask their parents to return to Klaus’s Funhouse. For Samuel, business is booming, and his new patron is to thank for it.

No one but Samuel knows of this benefactor and its contributions. All that is seen is that whatever is influencing the children has grown stronger over time. Their parents now grow concerned and look to the source of the toys for answers. But Samuel has been less than forthcoming, responding with an unerring smile, feigning ignorance of any changes, and evading any questions that probe into the truth of the toys. Someone must investigate. Without proof of wrongdoing or the magic to discover the toys’ enchantments, the parents instead look to a third party, hoping that adventurers might be willing to brave the sickly-sweet atmosphere of the Funhouse, unearth whatever is affecting the toys, and end their enthrallment over the children.

Klaus’s Funhouse

Where toys abound and fun is found!

Stepping into the store is a whimsical assault on the senses. Candy-pink wallpaper accentuates a rainbow of baubles, toys, and trinkets arranged across tables and shelves, each vying for your attention with stimulating colors and textures. Music plays gently from an unknown source, with organs and other fairground instruments at a volume that never quite overwhelms, and the air is tinged with a similarly directionless sweetness.

The rooms beyond the storefront immediately abandon their saccharine presentation. The bright pink gives way to mundane, natural shades of the building’s original green and brown, with fixtures that are likewise ordinary. They cover everything one might expect of a home with basic, almost stereotypical decoration that contrasts acutely with the character presented by the store.

As festivities approach, parents from all across the city flock to toy stores in search of their child’s newest fleeting obsession. One such store is Klaus’s Funhouse. A bright display that has seen humble success, the Funhouse is owned and run by its eponymous Samuel T Klaus, who grew up in and still occupies the house, the main room of which acts as the storefront.

The Funhouse stocks a wide variety of toys and trinkets. Its items are all of decent but never outstanding make, focusing increasingly more on enticing visuals and low costs, while ensuring that more rambunctious children will be sending their parents back for a replacement item before long. This contrasts, of course, with the rising success it has seen in recent days, despite there being no perceptible difference in the Funhouse’s stock or practices.

The Funhouse itself is centered around the main room’s storefront, to which the front door opens. The store is a basic, organized display of items across tables and shelves, with its main desk standing opposite the door. A door behind this desk leads to a small storage room containing a rear exit and a hatch that descends into the dank, largely empty basement. Conversely, a staircase ascends from the back of the main room into Samuel’s living area, which itself is divided into a kitchen, bathroom, living room, and two separate bedrooms. The larger of the bedrooms is now Samuel’s alone, while the smaller has remained untouched since his wife and daughter left.

The longer Samuel has benefitted from his new patron’s power, the more influence it has exerted over him and his store. This first meant only minor enchantments on the toys that would charm children into playing with them. These enchantments have since grown far stronger, forcefully holding kids’ attention to the exclusion of all else, while Samuel’s demeanor has shifted in similarly unsettling ways. Should anyone attempt to rectify these changes, they will discover the most drastic of the patron’s influences: many of the toys in the store have become magically animated. They hide themselves amongst the mundane, visually indistinguishable but ready to leap to the Funhouse’s defense at a moment’s notice.

Map & Asset Downloads

The description for Klaus’s Funhouse is a perfect match for our recent battle map, the ‘Magic Toy Store’. It’s the ideal place for all manner of animated toys to hide and fight, but you may wish to construct your own store, or have the toys appear somewhere else entirely…

Samuel T Klaus

(CN male elf festivity warlock)

The elven man wears pristine and striking clothes: a white shirt with sleeves rolled to the elbow, beneath a waistcoat and pants of vivid green, trimmed in crimson. And though his smile beams, the man himself is not quite as pristine as his outfit. His hair has greyed to almost snow white, the same pale shade spreading across his face in the beginnings of a neglected beard, and the buttons on his waistcoat strain to hide gained weight, which he struggles against with repeated subtle adjustments.

The proprietor and sole resident of Klaus’s Funhouse is Samuel T Klaus. Samuel was once a reflection of the store, an outwardly vibrant and whimsical person who radiated joy towards every customer. Those who frequented the Funhouse knew its owner for his constant jokes and bright disposition towards children, which always fostered a welcoming atmosphere and helped the various toys to fly off the shelves. 

Unfortunately, Samuel’s attitude has soured over time. Years of running the Funhouse eroded his passion and shifted his focus almost completely to business. He is now concerned with little else than how successful the store is each day and grows more willing to employ underhanded tactics, sacrificing the quality of the toys as a means of increasing profits. This passionless cynicism even crept into his personal life, taxing Samuel’s relationship with his wife and daughter until the situation became untenable. His family has since left Samuel to run the store in grim solitude.

As Samuel’s situation degraded, he sought outside assistance. But investors and loans can only do so much. No one is sure how he made contact, whether Samuel was the instigator or the target, but the failing businessman has entered a bargain with an entity promising that the Funhouse would bring joy like it never had before. This enigmatic force has upheld its end of the bargain, the store’s toys captivating its child customers and seeing word quickly spread. But their enamoring influence has only grown and grown, now leading to the current situation and investigation into Samuel and the Funhouse. Samuel himself remains unquestioning. He has rekindled his old joy, his smile beaming to all who enter the store. Yet keen observers may notice a friction behind his eyes, a glint of pain as Samuel’s deepest thoughts fight against a happiness that is not all his own.

We have kept the details of Samuel’s patron intentionally vague to allow you to fit it into your own adventure. The baseline inspiration was Christmas, with Samuel’s outfit and the toy creatures alluding to Santa and his elves, but this can be changed to suit other festivities, real or fictional, without any impact on the larger encounter. Alternatively, they can be separated from the concept of festivities altogether. The patron could instead be a powerful fey that is doing everything for its own entertainment. Perhaps this fey is even disguised as the cat seen in the ‘Magic Toy Store’ map?

Animated Toys

The toys of Klaus’s Funhouse have been animated by the same patron that has enchanted the store and empowered Samuel. They now fight to protect their owner, wielding whimsy and wonder in their attacks against any who would threaten Samuel, the Funhouse, or their connection to Samuel’s mysterious patron. And though they may not appear threatening, those seeking to put Samuel out of business will quickly learn that the toys are not all fun and games.

Flying Train Set

CR 1/4

A whistle sounds like a distant train, yet the clacking of tiny tracks reveals that it is not far away, but simply small. The model locomotive pulls its many carriages along toy tracks, each section floating forwards to continue the line as soon as the train has passed. If this were not curious enough, the tracks then begin to incline, carrying the train unassisted into the air.

The flying train set is a model with a penchant for hitting its targets at full speed. Each magically animated, the various pieces of the set assemble together according to the instructions on the box to form both the train and the tracks that guide it. The train is able to fly through the air in pursuit of its targets, swooping past them and maintaining its attacks while avoiding any risk of derailment.

Animated Jack-in-the-Box

CR 1/2

A wooden cube tinkles with the notes of a music box as a crank on its side slowly turns. The tune is familiar but plays at an anxious creep, accompanied by the quiet clicks and chitters of internal mechanisms, which seem to slow as if building tension.

The toys primarily utilize the element of surprise in their tactics, and none embody this more than the animated jack-in-the-box. Like its namesake object, the jack-in-the-box uses its internal mechanism to build tension in its spring until violently revealing the small clown doll that is attached to it. It uses the built-up energy to throw itself at enemies, walloping them with a boxing glove or slipping a knife through their guard, before whipping back to the safety of its box and beginning the crank once again.

Animated Plushie

CR 1

Lifeless button eyes glint with reflected light as the plush toy turns to look at you. It remains expressionless as it moves, articulating as if the genuine article, while the softness of its fur silences any sound it might make.

Perhaps the most visually disarming of the toys is the animated plushie. As their name suggests, they are animated plush toys of all shapes and sizes, who use their stature and softness to remain hidden before rushing their targets. They then attack with a curious modification granted by the magic that animates them: sharpened claws and vicious teeth. These additions are normally hidden by their fur, tricking more vulnerable prey into embracing the plushie, but quickly extend to viciously carve at their victims before the plushie flees back into the shadows.

Building Block Golem

CR 1

The clattering of wood draws your attention to a loose assemblage of children’s building blocks, each one carved from wood and painted brightly with a different color. They tumble over each other in a rainbow puddle, building upwards as they assemble into a combined, humanoid form.

Though it operates as a single entity, the building block golem is actually a coordinated swarm of children’s wooden building blocks, all individually animated. The component shapes work together in perfect concert. They most often hold the golem’s humanoid form but are able to rearrange as a means of hiding, squeezing through confined spaces, or even dividing into smaller groups of blocks to split their enemies’ attention between more numerous, though more diminutive attackers. These toy golems can then combine back into larger forms, should they require strength or durability, or if they simply grow tired of picking on someone their own size.

The golem is a single creature that can come in three different sizes. Dealing damage to the golem causes it to lose blocks, reducing its size, and it is also able to split itself apart into smaller versions of the same creature, then later recombine. It’s broken blocks ability covers some of this, but packing all the different sizes, their differences, and the ability to reconstruct all into the deconstruct ability’s description would have left the stat block overwrought and frustrating to sort through during a game. Instead, we’ve included a separate block for each size of golem, each including abilities that cover how that size can become the others. This should make it easier to keep track of their differences and streamline running the encounter.

Festivity Warlock

CR 2

The person carries an unusual air far more jovial than one might expect. They smile with a genuine, warm geniality, their face alight with joy yet their eyes flaunting a glint of mischief.

The festivity warlock is a warlock much like any other, yet is set apart by their curiously jolly patron. This benefactor is often one associated with or embodying a particular holiday, tradition, or festivities, but can also be as simple as one that favors celebrations and revelry. The patron grants the warlock abilities that bring joy and whimsy to all around them, spreading their celebrations to targets willing and otherwise. This specialization is seen in their proclivity for using toys, pranks, or items traditional to their patron’s respective domain as spellcasting foci. Their abilities’ effects also reflect this, as they conjure gifts with unknown contents and inspire laughter so potent that it overpowers those charmed by them.

Samuel Klaus and other festivity warlocks borrow from the warlock class, and so come with a set of spells that, while tailored to their particular needs, are also available to other warlocks and spellcasters. What sets them apart should be how they cast these spells. When describing their spellcasting, giving only a short moment to mention a toy or other knick-knack being used as a component helps to set them apart from other warlocks and emphasizes the nature of their abilities. Some examples of this include swinging a pocket watch or using a swirling black-and-white spiral for charm spells such as charm person, enthrall, and suggestion, or a burst of flash paper when casting the invisibility spell. These only need to be short, one-off descriptions, but they can go a long way in making the warlock unique and memorable.

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